Annoying tourist

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Description

You're approached by an overweight middle-aged man and his utterly unappealing wife, who are both wearing matching loud shirts and fanny-packs and who seem to be thoroughly lost. He takes out a phrasebook and proceeds to ask you loudly, slowly and annoyingly HOW... TO... GET... TO... BUS... STATION.

You stare at him blankly.

He pulls a phrasebook from his fanny pack and tries again... "Hovercraft minn er fullur af friði?"

Clearly, this guy isn't from around here.

Opponent Level Information

Opponent Level:

Power Level:

Attack Rating:

Defence Rating:

Scaling

• Does this opponent scale to you? No
• Subpoints Gain: Does this scale with player stats? No
• Opponent Level: Does this scale with player stats? No
• HP: Does this scale with player stats? No
• Elemental Damage Reduction: Y/N? If So What Kind
• Elemental Weakness: Y/N? If So What Kind
• Physical Resistance: Y/N?

Combat Messages

Jump Message:

• You realise that helping lost tourists is part of your "civic duty", but you're not feeling particularly civic today and think that "duty" is only a word that sounds a bit dirty if you say it just right. Basically, you don't care and feel like beating up on this fool is going to be a lot more fun. You get the jump.

Successful Attack(s):

• Your opponent shouts something at you in Farguian, which you don't understand but which apparently means "I'm going to kick you in the bum now for X DAMAGE". At least, that's what happens immediately afterwards.
• Remember the pre-digital age, when cameras were huge, bulky things that people carried on straps around their necks? This guy does, and he has one which he swings at your head for X DAMAGE.

Missed Attack(s):

• Realising that they are both on holiday, it's only fair that the tourist's wife has a go at you as well. She takes off her fanny pack and swings it wildly at you, but it fails to pack any sort of punch, in your fanny or anywhere else. Seems it's on a roamin' holiday.
• Your opponent begins to attack, but you quickly point out an interesting sight in the nearby vicinity and he pauses to take a photograph instead.
• Your opponent prepares to pounce on you, when a roving immigration officer strolls up and starts asking questions about passports. Your opponent immediately pretends to be somewhere else. Pretty convincingly, too.
• Your opponent's wife notices that a large bus has arrived across the street, and she grabs him by the arm and starts dragging him away. You try to taunt him from afar, but he just flips you off and keeps walking. Apparently THAT kind of language is somewhat universal.

Location(s)

• Downtown

Rewards

• You acquire an item: Fanny pack (27%)
• 8-12 Moolah

Stats:

• You gain 1 Brains subpoints
• You gain 1Bravado subpoints
• You gain 1-2 Brawn subpoints

References

• "My hovercraft is full of eels" is a line from the "Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook" sketch on Monty Python's Flying Circus.