Christmas 2008

Christmas Story

The Little Dev AngEll Written By: Impalix

Now long ago, on that first Christmas Eve in Paradox, when all the Dev Team Members and High Moderators came into the chat pane shouting great tidings and drunken slurs for the constant amusement of others, there was a little Dev AngEll who slipped in on a faraway server. She could laugh and drink and tell amusing stories just as the others could, but somewhere amidst the festivities she began to lose her train of understanding within the scrolling text.

"IF SOMEONE SAYS CRIMBO ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO KILL THEM."

"I'll merry your Crimbo LOL."

"That's what she said ;)"

The AngEll scratched her head and took another drink, wondering exactly what a 'Crimbo' was. And what, oh what exactly did she say that everyone kept mentioning? Hopefully it had more u's than these other words. Drifting away from the pane and out into Charlie Gardens Memorial Park, the AngEll found a quiet bench to sit on in a nearby gazebo. Downing another tinselschlager, she smiled and lurked for a bit as the banter continued. But the seat was so comfortable and her booze was so warm, the AngEll was lulled into a deep sleep.

When she awoke, the AngEll looked up with great alarm, for the chat pane was empty and the few players still logged on were frantically running their adventures. "I don't believe I shall find my server again without the other Devs, so I had better start searching for them." Adjusting the Ant Queen's crown on her head and taking the Festive Spirit Dispenser at her side, she spread her strap-on wings and chose a nearby path to travel through the park. "Why, that must be one of the Devs now!" she exclaimed, floating towards a darkened figure farther down the path, but it was only an adventurer in a green shirt.

The adventurer seemed focused on the ground, crushing hoards of ants beneath his mukluks with very little success. "Why aren't you drinking?" The Dev AngEll asked. "Drink? This is a speed-run! I'm not going to drink until I have to! My pair o' dice might even make it unnecessary if I'm lucky." The adventurer sneered. "But drinks are festive and make everyone happy. They even allow you to adventure farther than you originally could!" Creating a ham schnapps from her Festive Spirit Dispenser, the AngEll handed it over to the green shirt, who eyed her for a moment before downing it. "It's...it's good!" The adventurer exclaimed, lowering his feet and smiling at the Dev AngEll. "Then take this, and you'll always have a way to brew booze!" Handing the dispenser over to the adventurer, the AngEll then looked around. "By the way, have you seen any Devs around here?" The adventurer frowned. "Devs?" "Didn't you see them chatting? Oh, but there's one right over there!" the little AngEll exclaimed, floating away.

But alas! When she came a bit closer, it was only another another adventurer, although this one wore a red shirt. She was dressed in all manner of token gear apparel, but her face was sour and she attempted to move away from the AngEll. "Please don't bother me right now. I seem to have lost my Heavy handbag somewhere in this park just as I was trying to save up for another shopping spree to the Moolah Rouge Mall." The AngEll moved closer with an anxious smile. "Were you going to buy a crown to match all of your nice things? If so, you can have mine instead." Taking off her ant queen's crown, she placed it in the adventurer's hands. "It's lovely, but...but I don't understand. You're just giving it away?" All the edge in her voice seemed to lift immediately, the adventurer now smiling warmly as if she had not been able to for several intermissions due to poor RNG luck. "Of course, now if only you could point me in which direction the Devs went." The adventure looked slightly confused. "But I just logged on..." she said, turning to the AngEll, who had already floated away as quickly as she had come.

She was nearly out of the park by now, what with no crown on her head and no dispenser to carry. In fact, the AngEll floated so quickly that she nearly tripped over a small adventurer who had just entered the /lobby for their first time. "Welcome to Paradox! Why do you look so upset?" the AngEll asked. "There are so many new things to explore and my friend told me that Gobberwart just created a bunch of new Christmas content. If I don't navigate the menus fast enough, I'm sure I'll get left behind and all the content will be gone before I know how to manage my adventures properly!" The Angel thought for a moment. "Then you shall have my wings, for I can always create a new pair if necessary and they will help you to traverse the site quickly and without worry." Unfastening the straps, she helped the adventurer put them on. They looked large and awkward on such a low-level adventurer, but they brought a smile to his face and carried him off towards the University. "Oh thank you!" He cried, but she could no longer see or hear him.

Now the AngEll traveled slowly across University grounds, falling every now and then for she only had stilts to walk on. Noticing a light on in one of the nearby buildings, she began to walk towards it in hopeful desperation. "Perhaps one of the Devs is on late play-testing new content!" she cried. But when she reached the room from which the light came, she only found Professor von Noob working diligently behind mounds of paperwork. "Well hello there! I didn't expect to meet any new adventurers tonight." he exclaimed. "My, but you already look so experienced! Would you like a position here?"

And so the little Dev AngEll became the Professor's secretary, attempting to sort files and take dictations, but the work never seemed to ever dissipate (perhaps it was a glitch). She worked with him through many pleasant intermissions and after a while, the AngEll forgot that she had ever been a Dev at all. Adventurers constantly resetting their accounts would come to visit the Noobology Department on a regular basis, and with them came stories. Stories of a successful adventurer who topped the fasterest leaderboards yet always had time for a drink, a chat moderator who gave generously of everything she earned in /games and a master spader who managed to fill out the Paradox Wiki before anyone had a chance to blink. And the little AngEll smiled, for she could not possibly know that the adventurers whom they spoke of were the same three players she had given her belongings to on that Christmas Eve in Paradox, long long ago.

Item List

During intermission, it looks like someone hacked the game (potentially via the chimney) and left a couple of items in everyone's inventory. Oh well, no harm leaving them there I guess. PS. Merry Christmas everyone :)

Notes

The second and third place winners and all other entries of the Christmas story contest can be found in this forum

Christmas 2008

Christmas Story

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