Stumbling bum
Description
Sitting at the side of the road, holding a cardboard sign asking for moolah, is one of the most dodgy-looking beggars you've ever seen, and that's saying something. He doesn't appear to have had a change of clothes in years, and the ones he's wearing look as though they're being held together by his own congealed bodily fluids. He's muttering to himself, but you can't really make out what he's saying, other than to know it involves sailors, porcupines and duct tape. That's probably more than you need to know, strictly speaking.
As you try to pass him by, he grabs you and asks you for some spare moolah to buy, "a bus ticket to visit his sick mother in Farg." Yeah, right.
Opponent Level Information
Opponent Level:
Power Level:
Attack Rating:
Defence Rating:
Scaling
- Does this opponent scale to you? No
- Subpoints Gain: Does this scale with player stats? No
- Opponent Level: Does this scale with player stats? No
- HP: Does this scale with player stats? No
- Elemental Damage Reduction: Y/N? If So What Kind
- Elemental Weakness: Y/N? If So What Kind
- Physical Resistance: Y/N?
Combat Messages
Jump Message
- You feel sorry for the guy, but, well, you don't really carry "spare" moolah, only moolah for which you actually have plans, none of which involve donations to charity right now, thanks very much and... You know, rather than trying to explain this to him, you decide it's probably easier just to beat him up. You get the jump.
Successful Attack:
- Reaching into his filthy pocket, he slurrily tells you that he has something in there that can hurt you. You doubt it, but it turns out he's right; it's his fist. He punches you in the <body parts> for X DAMAGE!
- He tries to hit you and misses, but in the process several dozen fleas leap onto your body and bite you for X DAMAGE!
- He lunges at you, but you quickly push him back. Wait? You TOUCHED him? Your hands! Your precious, precious hands! You hurriedly wash off the filth in a nearby puddle, but not before taking X DAMAGE from a few billion hobo bacteria.
Missed Attack:
- He begins to attack, but is distracted by some guy with a camera, a sandwich and a spiel about something called "the inner-nets."
- Your opponent attempts to demonstrate something called "the quart of blood technique" on you, but he's not fooling anybody.
- Your opponent holds up a finger and gestures for you to wait while he takes an important cell-phone call from his stockbroker. Wait, what?
- He tries to slug you with a roll of moolah in a sock, but suddenly realises he doesn't have any moolah, and that hitting you with an empty sock is just plain silly.
- If there's one thing hobos aren't known for, it's stamina. He stumbles off, mumbling about "the war" and the ever-increasing cost of cheese. You decide against chasing after him.
Location(s)
Rewards
You acquire an item: eau d'hobo (26.5%)
You acquire an item: gloveless fingers (28.5%)
Stats:
Notes
References
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