The Dungeon Master

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In a corner of the cafeteria, there is a group of.. socially-awkward young men.. playing some kind of dice-related role-playing adventure game.

One of them beckons you over and, nasally, says "Hey there, I'm the Dungeon Master, but you can just call me "Rick"! Check out my amazing new 273-sided die! *snort* I bet you never saw one this big before!"

"You want to give it a roll?"

He offers you what appears to be a die the size of his head.


Roll With It

"Well, you know, I wouldn't normally do this,but that's quite an impressive chunk of plastic!" you say, taking the gigantic die from the Dungeon Master.

With some effort, you manage to roll it a short distance.

"You rolled <n>," says Rick, "let me check my book to see what happens."

  • Result = 11
"Oh dear, a roll of eleven is ridiculous. It's not even funny!"
You lose 1-3 health points.
You probably should have let Rick roll for you.
  • Result anything else
"Ahhhh OK, you gain some stats. That's cool. *snort*"
You gain 3-6 stats.
Don't be so silly

"Are you kidding me?" you laugh, "Do I look like the kind of guy who rolls dice? Pfft."

You walk away, feeling superior, but as you leave you're sure you hear one of the game-players say "Yes".





  • This is a reference to Rickrolling, the practice of giving someone a link, supposedly to something important, interesting or exciting, but redirecting them to a video clip of Rick Astley's song "Never Gonna Give You Up". For further information, please refer to [1] or [2]
  • The roll of 11 being 'ridiculous' and 'not even funny' is a reference to the song "Timezones" by Negativland.
  • Furthermore, the reference to 11 being 'ridiculous' and 'not even funny' is a reference to the MMORPG 'Kingom Of Loathing' which also makes widespread references to this phrase.
  • The title itself is a reference to Dungeon and Dragons and other similar Roleplaying Games in which a dungeon master is chosen to narrate and moderate the journey of multiple players.

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