Trigonometric malfunction

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Description

What happens when an angle doesn't function anymore? Right, you get one of these, a horror fresh from n-dimensional space which can only be expressed as "A reason to run, Forrest, run!"

If only you had arrived *sine tempore* you might have avoided this!

Opponent Level Information

Opponent Level:

Power Level:

Attack Rating:

Defence Rating:

Scaling

• Does this opponent scale to you? No
• Subpoints Gain: Does this scale with player stats? No
• Opponent Level: Does this scale with player stats? No
• HP: Does this scale with player stats? No
• Elemental Damage Reduction: Y/N? If So What Kind
• Elemental Weakness: Y/N? If So What Kind
• Physical Resistance: Y/N?

Combat Messages

Initiative Messages

• Your elaborate harmonic motion completely cancels its attention. You get the jump on it.
• In a simple harmonic motion it scintillates right out of the way then returns to get the jump on you.

Successful Attacks

• You shout "Noli me tangent!", but it is too late. It covers your face in painful ulcerations to the tune of (X) DAMAGE!
• It calls its cosine to come and poke you in the nose for (X) DAMAGE!
• It subjects you to a furry analysis. Your self-esteem takes (X) DAMAGE!

Missed Messages

• It attempts to scintillate all over you but got the coordinates all mixed up.
• It periodically malfunctions and fails to hit you completely.
• It scintillates straight into a wall. Seems it still can't find what it's looking for.
• It doesn't know much trigonometry, which causes it to break down and sob that things would be better if at least someone would love it.

Location(s)

• Trigonopolymonomathopathology Lab

Rewards

• You acquire an item: pocket calculator (30%?)
• You acquire an item: really big ruler (25%?)

Stats:

• You gain 13-20 brawn
• You gain 6-11 brains
• You gain 6-11 bravado

Notes

• This, and the Malfunctioning geospatiodynamostatic probe have combat messages in which they hit a wall.

References

• The phrase ".....run, Forrest, run!" is a quote from the 1994 film Forest Gump
• "sine tempore" is Latin. The English translation is "on time".
• "Noli me tangent!"is a reference to the Latin phrase, "Noli me tangere", which means "don't touch me."
• Noli-me-tangere is a historical term for facial ulceration.
• The Noli me Tangere is a historical writing by a Filipino Hero.
• Tangent and cosine are trigonometric functions.