Initial Text After Logging-In For The First Time

Welcome, Noob

Dark. No light. Dark.

You reach out and fumble for a light switch... CLICK. Hmmmmm.

As you look around, you realise that you have absolutely no idea where you are. You're lying on a bed in a small and somewhat shabby room. You assume it's your room, although it's not familiar at all. Somewhat disturbingly, it bears a strong resemblance to a college dorm room.

You lean down and look under the bed... ewwwww... definitely a dorm room.

You slowly begin to come to your senses and start to remember. Then you realise that you actually don't remember anything at all.

You think harder... (insert USERNAME here). Yes, that name is familiar. Right, it's your name. That's a start. What else? No, that's about it.

As you lie there trying to think, you hear voices coming from outside the room, and you move to the door in order to hear them better. Maybe they'll say something that will tell you where you are.

"Dude!" says one voice, "You've got von Noob again? This is, like, the third time!"

"I know man, but it's, like, really hard," says a second voice.

"What's hard about Noobology 101? It's like, the BASICS, dude! You need to lay off the shibbying."

The voices fade out as their owners move away from your door, but you've learned a couple of things. First, one of those two guys is really dumb, and second that you are, in fact, at some kind of University. And the name they mentioned, von Noob, sounds incredibly familiar.

Perhaps you should go find him?

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