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Cinema Seven - The Horrovision Experience! (view source)

Revision as of 22:52, 31 October 2009

8,154 bytes added ,  22:52, 31 October 2009
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<center>'''Get The Military Involved'''</center>
 
<center>'''Get The Military Involved'''</center>
   −
<center>'''Make A Special Connection With That'''</center>
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<center>'''Make A Special Connection With That Special Someone'''</center>
    
<center>'''Head For The Car'''</center>
 
<center>'''Head For The Car'''</center>
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'''If you picked Get the Military Involved'''
 
'''If you picked Get the Military Involved'''
   −
'''If you picked Make a Special Connection with That'''
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'''If you picked Make a Special Connection with That Special Someone'''
    
Amidst all the carnage, you feel your oats like never before and choose to act on them. Too bad you forgot the first rule of horror movies, noob. Then again, I don't know that I'd really call this a horror movie. It seems more like a suspenseful thriller, don't you think? And as we all know, people can get busy all they want to in suspenseful thrillers and still manage to survive, so get 'er done.
 
Amidst all the carnage, you feel your oats like never before and choose to act on them. Too bad you forgot the first rule of horror movies, noob. Then again, I don't know that I'd really call this a horror movie. It seems more like a suspenseful thriller, don't you think? And as we all know, people can get busy all they want to in suspenseful thrillers and still manage to survive, so get 'er done.
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== Scene 3 ==
 
== Scene 3 ==
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'''If you picked Drop The Phone In A Handy Vat Of Sulfuric Acid'''
 
'''If you picked Drop The Phone In A Handy Vat Of Sulfuric Acid'''
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== Scene 4 ==
 
== Scene 4 ==
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'''If you picked Ignore The Intense Music'''
 
'''If you picked Ignore The Intense Music'''
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<center>'''Head For The Car'''</center>
 
<center>'''Head For The Car'''</center>
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== Scene 5 ==
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'''If you picked Have A 'Dude Moment' '''
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'''If you picked Pass It Off As The Wind'''
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You look at your friend and say, "I'm sorry, Shaun." He looks confused, but you start to giggle and let another one rip.
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The stench is enough to detract any would-be murderers (and girls) from coming within a 3-mile radius of the frat house. They call the wind Pariah.
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The scene shifts.
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You're driving down the road in the middle of the night, and come up to a stop sign.
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While you're stopped and trying to consult your obviously misprinted map, a large man walks up to the car and asks for a ride. You pretend you don't understand him and start to drive off, but he dives on top of the car!
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After employing a few fancy maneuvers, you are finally able to knock him off and he goes flying into the road ahead of you. You stare at his body in shock, when it suddenly sits up!
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You mutter to yourself about his seeming inability to be killed, then drive off quickly.
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'''If you pick Head For The Car'''
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<center>'''Ask For Directions'''</center>
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<center>'''Drive Aimlessly'''</center>
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<center>'''Head For The Car'''</center>
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== Scene 6 ==
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'''If you picked Ask For Directions'''
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'''If you picked Drive Aimlessly'''
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You drive around for hours until you eventually run out of gas. Fortunately, you roll to a stop in front of the local constabulary. You describe the events of the past few hours to the cops, who laugh at you and call you a lunatic. But hey, at least you survived.
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The scene shifts.
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You're now standing outside a giant cathedral, dressed in leather pants and a funny hat. You look up and take notice of how bright and full the moon is <b>''don't some Dixon NutZ sound good?''</b> when you hear a loud howl!
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You spin around quickly to see a werewolf in torn jeans staring straight at you from 20 yards away.
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'''If you picked Head For The Car'''
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<center>'''Stand Incredibly Still'''</center>
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<center>'''Review Your Last Will And Testament'''</center>
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<center>'''Head For The Car'''</center>
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== Scene 7 ==
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'''If you picked Stand Incredibly Still'''
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'''If you picked Review Your Last Will And Testament'''
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The best defense is a good offense, so to the werewolf you leave your entire, vast BOOT TO THE HEAD. And one for the wimp. Good thing you were wearing silver-tipped boots.
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As the werewolf dies, he transforms back into his human shape and a torn shirt appears on his body. You spend a few minutes trying to figure out where the shirt came from, but eventually give up and move on.
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The scene shifts.
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You have just awakened in a more or less comfortable bed, and notice that the room is pitch black. Why does it always seem like the room is incredibly dark when you wake up in the middle of the night? Oh wait, that makes sense.
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What really bakes your noodle is, why does it always seem like there are strange creaking noises coming from upstairs when you wake up in the middle of the night?
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'''If you picked Head For The Car'''
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<center>'''Grab A Fleshlight And Investigate'''</center>
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<center>'''Try The Light Switch'''</center>
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<center>'''Head For The Car'''</center>
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== Scene 8 ==
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'''If you picked Grab A Fleshlight And Investigate'''
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'''If you picked Try The Light Switch'''
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You flip the light switch, and the lights come on. Hmm. You run down the stairs, and don't fall down even once. Hmm again. <b>''knowledge is power''</b> You leave the house, and escape completely unscathed without having even seen the killer once. See? Sometimes the easiest solution is the right one.
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The scene shifts.
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You're... on a spaceship... of... some sort. As per usual, you're surrounded by fuzzy purple aliens who want to either kill, maim, or probe you. Of course, none of these options sound too inviting, so you make a break for it.
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You make it to the escape pod bay, and hear the sound of heavy alien footsteps approaching rapidly... and a meow.
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'''If you picked Head For The Car'''
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<center>'''Go Back For The Cat'''</center>
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<center>'''Use The Escape Pod'''</center>
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<center>'''Head For The Car'''</center>
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== Scene 9 ==
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'''If you picked Go Back For The Cat'''
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'''If you picked Use The Escape Pod'''
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You make a break for the escape pod, and push the "Go" button. It initializes, but during the final phase of the ejection process a red light comes on, and a soothing female voice says "Ejection failed."
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What the heck? Ohhh, it looks like the system's not quite ready yet, and has safeguards against premature ejection!
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As if the situation wasn't bad enough (and that pun certainly didn't help), a giant alien comes rushing straight for the pod!
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Just as you're about to freak the hell out, the alien waves goodbye to you and pushes a button just outside the pod. The soothing female voice comes on again, this time saying, "Ejection successful", and you float away to safety.
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The scene shifts.
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Everything looks familiar for some reason. Then it hits you: you're in a sequel!
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At this point in the poorly recycled plot, you're standing in your bedroom brushing your hair when you hear heavy footsteps outside the door.
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'''If you picked Head For The Car'''
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<center>'''Hide Under The Bed... Again'''</center>
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<center>'''Dance A Jig'''</center>
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<center>'''Head For The Car'''</center>
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== Scene 10 ==
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'''If you picked Hide Under The Bed... Again'''
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'''If you picked Dance A Jig'''
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As a seaweed covered corpse enters the room, you take a page out of the book "Vaudeville: The Art Of Life", and start dancing like a damn fool. This confuses the killer, and you dance right out the door.
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The scene shifts.
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You find yourself standing in a store <b>''Dodgitech is GOOD''</b> that obviously caters to those with tastes geared toward Rattan. A man in a football helmet is standing at the front of the store, wielding a weed-eater as a deadly weapon.
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He spots you before you can duck behind one of the shelves, <b>''Dodgitech is WISE''</b> and runs you down. He pushes the weed-eater to your chest, but it barely makes it through the fabric before the motor cuts out.
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While he's cussing and yelling at it, you devise and execute an incredibly elaborate scheme <b>''Dodgitech is ALL-KNOWING''</b> which results in the whole building coming down on him while you watch from a relatively safe distance.
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Suddenly, you spot a mangled hand jut up from the rubble.
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'''If you picked Head For The Car'''
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<center>'''Develop A Grudge'''</center>
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<center>'''Amble Slowly And Carefully Away'''</center>
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<center>'''Head For The Car'''</center>
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== Scene 11 ==
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'''If you picked Develop A Grudge'''
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'''If you picked Amble Slowly And Carefully Away'''
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You decide that since that lunatic's probably sporting some pretty nasty fractures all over his body, he's not gonna be able to chase you down, and so just walk away, watching to be sure you don't do something stupid like trip over a basket.
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But really, you should already know what's going to happen next.
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You look over your shoulder just in time to see the guy rushing toward you. You step to your left, and he runs smack into a telephone pole. You beat him profusely with the weed-eater to make sure he's not getting back up, and continue on your way.
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The scene shifts.
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You're standing in... oh, you're back in the cinema. Apparently the show is over.
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Before you have a chance to regain your equilibrium, you're rushed out the front door, and an usher retrieves the X-D glasses from your face. Despite the rather abrupt nature of the exit, the film itself was definitely an experience.
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On your way out of the theater, you're feeling so good about yourself for getting through the whole X-D experience successfully that you don't notice the bald guy selling flowers just outside until you bump into him.
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Rather than getting mad, he smiles and hands you something.
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You gain some [[subpoints]]: ???-496-??? Brains
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'''If you picked Head For The Car'''
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== Notes ==
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*If you survive all scenes from 1-10, no matter what choice you get at 11, you will get [[Ana's Glyph]] along with subpoints. The last choice just determing a bit stat gains.
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*The option are randomly placed in the game.
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== References ==
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{{Page/Quicklinks}}
Retrieved from "https://wiki.paradoxthemusical.com/index.php/Special:MobileDiff/13247"