Cinema Seven - The Horrovision Experience!
Without X-D specs equipped:
After standing in line for about 1 hour short of eternity, you get to the ticket window only to be told that the new X-D show has just sold out.
Distraught, you leave the line of eager, smiling faces. Suckers.
As you are about to leave, a seedy-looking usher sidles up to you and whispers, "I can see how disappointed you are. Trust me, this new movie experience can not be missed! Tell you what. If you can come up with your own pair of glasses, I can get you into the cinema. For a nominal fee of course."
With X-D specs equipped: After standing in line for about 1 hour short of eternity, you get to the ticket window only to be told that the new X-D show has just sold out.
Distraught, you leave the line of eager, smiling faces. Suckers.
As you are about to leave, a seedy-looking usher sidles up to you and whispers, "I can see how disappointed you are. Trust me, this new movie experience can not be missed! Hey, You have your own pair of glasses!"
The usher leads you to a corner and continues whispering, "Tell you what. I can sneak you into Cinema Seven if you promise not to tell anyone I helped you. And if you give me 150 moolah."
Scene 1 begins
Choosing this will make you leave the cinema 7.
Scene 1
You grab the only available seat, which happens to be between a large smelly guy and a woman dressed up like a techno-pirate. After gawking for a few moments, you finally notice that the lights have dimmed and the show is starting.
You look at the screen for a second, and suddenly find yourself standing in a barn with a scantily-clad member of the opposite sex. As your eyes meet, something clicks. No, not like that...something literally clicks, and the sound is coming from the dark, spooky loft.
Wow, these X-D glasses are AMAZING. But now, you have a decision to make...
Amidst all the carnage, you feel your oats like never before and choose to act on them. Too bad you forgot the first rule of horror movies, noob. Then again, I don't know that I'd really call this a horror movie. It seems more like a suspenseful thriller, don't you think? And as we all know, people can get busy all they want to in suspenseful thrillers and still manage to survive, so get 'er done.
The scene shifts.
Scene 2
If you picked Get the Military Involved
If you picked Make a Special Connection with That Special Someone
The wind is howling outside. The shutters on your windows bang loudly. Did you leave those open? As you walk over to close them, you hear a creaking you must be hungry noise coming from upstairs. Suddenly, the lights flicker off and back on. Then your cell phone rings.
You pick it up, with your heart in your throat.
If you picked Head For The Car
Despite the fact that you're certain that the person on the other end of the line is going to ask you what your favorite scary movie is or tell you that you have a week to live, you answer the phone anyway.
Surprisingly enough, it's actually a telemarketer calling to inform you that you've just won a cruise to some obscure island off the coast of a war-torn country, but in order to collect the "prize", you have to subscribe to 30 different magazines that you've never even heard of.
This pisses you off so much that you march down to the local calling center to give them a piece of your mind.
While you're gone, the killer that WAS in your house accidentally blows the whole place to pieces... while he's still inside. It sucks that your house is now a burning pile of rubble but hey, at least you're alive, right?
The scene shifts.
Scene 3
If you picked Drop The Phone In A Handy Vat Of Sulfuric Acid
If you picked Answer The Phone
You relax in your favorite armchair, listening to the local radio station when a news bulletin interrupts your favorite show. According to the report, a maniac serial killer, armed with a semi-automatic weapon, has escaped from the nearby asylum. As the reporter details the gruesome slayings occurring in the vicinity, the ever-increasing volume of the eerie music being broadcast behind the report begins to creep you out.
You change the station only to discover that the music is still playing, and it's not coming from the radio! Holy crap!
If you picked Head For The Car
Despite the fact that you're certain that the person on the other end of the line is going to ask you what your favorite scary movie is or tell you that you have a week to live, you answer the phone anyway.
Surprisingly enough, it's actually a telemarketer calling to inform you that you've just won a cruise to some obscure island off the coast of a war-torn country, but in order to collect the "prize", you have to subscribe to 30 different magazines that you've never even heard of.
This pisses you off so much that you march down to the local calling center to give them a piece of your mind.
While you're gone, the killer that WAS in your house accidentally blows the whole place to pieces... while he's still inside. It sucks that your house is now a burning pile of rubble but hey, at least you're alive, right?
The scene shifts.
Scene 4
If you picked Ignore The Intense Music
If you picked Heed The Intense Music
The frat party is pretty much over by now. You and your broheim are mellaxing amidst the debris of "Chi Omega's Totally Tubular Toga Par-T", when you both hear a strange sound from somewhere nearby in the house.
Your friend starts to freak the eff out. Totally.
If you picked Head For The Car
You look at your friend and say, "I'm sorry, Shaun." He looks confused, but you start to giggle and let another one rip.
The stench is enough to detract any would-be murderers (and girls) from coming within a 3-mile radius of the frat house. They call the wind Pariah.
The scene shifts.
Scene 5
If you picked Have A 'Dude Moment'
If you picked Pass It Off As The Wind
You're driving down the road in the middle of the night, and come up to a stop sign.
While you're stopped and trying to consult your obviously misprinted map, a large man walks up to the car and asks for a ride. You pretend you don't understand him and start to drive off, but he dives on top of the car!
After employing a few fancy maneuvers, you are finally able to knock him off and he goes flying into the road ahead of you. You stare at his body in shock, when it suddenly sits up!
You mutter to yourself about his seeming inability to be killed, then drive off quickly.
If you pick Head For The Car
You drive around for hours until you eventually run out of gas. Fortunately, you roll to a stop in front of the local constabulary. You describe the events of the past few hours to the cops, who laugh at you and call you a lunatic. But hey, at least you survived.
The scene shifts.
Scene 6
If you picked Ask For Directions
If you picked Drive Aimlessly
You're now standing outside a giant cathedral, dressed in leather pants and a funny hat. You look up and take notice of how bright and full the moon is don't some Dixon NutZ sound good? when you hear a loud howl!
You spin around quickly to see a werewolf in torn jeans staring straight at you from 20 yards away.
If you picked Head For The Car
The best defense is a good offense, so to the werewolf you leave your entire, vast BOOT TO THE HEAD. And one for the wimp. Good thing you were wearing silver-tipped boots.
As the werewolf dies, he transforms back into his human shape and a torn shirt appears on his body. You spend a few minutes trying to figure out where the shirt came from, but eventually give up and move on.
The scene shifts.
Scene 7
If you picked Stand Incredibly Still
If you picked Review Your Last Will And Testament
You have just awakened in a more or less comfortable bed, and notice that the room is pitch black. Why does it always seem like the room is incredibly dark when you wake up in the middle of the night? Oh wait, that makes sense.
What really bakes your noodle is, why does it always seem like there are strange creaking noises coming from upstairs when you wake up in the middle of the night?
If you picked Head For The Car
You flip the light switch, and the lights come on. Hmm. You run down the stairs, and don't fall down even once. Hmm again. knowledge is power You leave the house, and escape completely unscathed without having even seen the killer once. See? Sometimes the easiest solution is the right one.
The scene shifts.
Scene 8
If you picked Grab A Fleshlight And Investigate
If you picked Try The Light Switch
You're... on a spaceship... of... some sort. As per usual, you're surrounded by fuzzy purple aliens who want to either kill, maim, or probe you. Of course, none of these options sound too inviting, so you make a break for it.
You make it to the escape pod bay, and hear the sound of heavy alien footsteps approaching rapidly... and a meow.
If you picked Head For The Car
You make a break for the escape pod, and push the "Go" button. It initializes, but during the final phase of the ejection process a red light comes on, and a soothing female voice says "Ejection failed."
What the heck? Ohhh, it looks like the system's not quite ready yet, and has safeguards against premature ejection!
As if the situation wasn't bad enough (and that pun certainly didn't help), a giant alien comes rushing straight for the pod!
Just as you're about to freak the hell out, the alien waves goodbye to you and pushes a button just outside the pod. The soothing female voice comes on again, this time saying, "Ejection successful", and you float away to safety.
The scene shifts.
Scene 9
If you picked Go Back For The Cat
If you picked Use The Escape Pod
Everything looks familiar for some reason. Then it hits you: you're in a sequel!
At this point in the poorly recycled plot, you're standing in your bedroom brushing your hair when you hear heavy footsteps outside the door.
If you picked Head For The Car
As a seaweed covered corpse enters the room, you take a page out of the book "Vaudeville: The Art Of Life", and start dancing like a damn fool. This confuses the killer, and you dance right out the door.
The scene shifts.
Scene 10
If you picked Hide Under The Bed... Again
If you picked Dance A Jig
You find yourself standing in a store Dodgitech is GOOD that obviously caters to those with tastes geared toward Rattan. A man in a football helmet is standing at the front of the store, wielding a weed-eater as a deadly weapon.
He spots you before you can duck behind one of the shelves, Dodgitech is WISE and runs you down. He pushes the weed-eater to your chest, but it barely makes it through the fabric before the motor cuts out.
While he's cussing and yelling at it, you devise and execute an incredibly elaborate scheme Dodgitech is ALL-KNOWING which results in the whole building coming down on him while you watch from a relatively safe distance.
Suddenly, you spot a mangled hand jut up from the rubble.
If you picked Head For The Car
You decide that since that lunatic's probably sporting some pretty nasty fractures all over his body, he's not gonna be able to chase you down, and so just walk away, watching to be sure you don't do something stupid like trip over a basket.
But really, you should already know what's going to happen next.
You look over your shoulder just in time to see the guy rushing toward you. You step to your left, and he runs smack into a telephone pole. You beat him profusely with the weed-eater to make sure he's not getting back up, and continue on your way.
The scene shifts.
Scene 11
If you picked Develop A Grudge
If you picked Amble Slowly And Carefully Away
You're standing in... oh, you're back in the cinema. Apparently the show is over.
Before you have a chance to regain your equilibrium, you're rushed out the front door, and an usher retrieves the X-D glasses from your face. Despite the rather abrupt nature of the exit, the film itself was definitely an experience.
On your way out of the theater, you're feeling so good about yourself for getting through the whole X-D experience successfully that you don't notice the bald guy selling flowers just outside until you bump into him.
Rather than getting mad, he smiles and hands you something.
You gain some subpoints: ???-496-??? Brains
If you picked Head For The Car
Notes
- If you survive all scenes from 1-10, no matter what choice you get at 11, you will get Ana's Glyph along with subpoints. The last choice just determing a bit stat gains.
- The option are randomly placed in the game.