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"You probably don't need to know anything else about equipment then."
"You probably don't need to know anything else about equipment then."
- ''You're absolutely right! Move along.''
- ''You're absolutely right! Move along.''
You acquire an item: [[blue t-shirt]] [[Image:Blueshirt.png]]
You acquire an item: [[blue t-shirt]] [[Image:Blueshirt.png]]
"Next, you'll be learning about food and drink. Come back and see me when you're ready."
"Next you'll be learning about food and drink. Come back and see me when you're ready."
- ''I'm ready! Let's just keep going.''
- ''I'm ready, let's just keep going''
"Remember I mentioned earlier that you will get 50 Turns every day?"
"Remember I mentioned earlier that you will get 50 Turns every day?"
"Well, there are ways you can increase that number of turns, and get some extra stats at the same time."
"There are ways you can increase that number of turns and get some extra stats at the same time."
The Professor sits and looks at you, obviously waiting for something.
The Professor sits and looks at you, obviously waiting for something.
"Er.. how?" you ask, hoping that's the right thing to say.
"Er... how?" you ask, hoping that's the right thing to say.
"I'm glad you asked!" says the Professor, "You can get more turns and stats by eating and drinking the food and drink you can find in various locations."
"I'm glad you asked!" says the Professor, "You can get more turns and stats by eating and drinking the food and drink you can find in various locations."
"As you eat and drink, your stomach and bladder, respectively, will fill up. Once they're full, you won't be able to eat and drink any more until tomorrow."
"As you eat and drink, your stomach and bladder will fill up. Once they're full you won't be able to eat and drink any more until tomorrow."
"Different food and drink items have different levels of 'fullness' and 'bladderness' (yes, I know that's not a real word) respectively, and corresponding turn and stat gains, and needless to say, some items are MUCH better than others."
"Different food and drink items have different levels of 'fullness' and 'bladderness' (yes, I know that's not a real word) respectively, and corresponding turn and stat gains, and needless to say, some items are MUCH better than others."
- ''Sounds reasonable, keep going.''
- ''Sounds reasonable, keep going.''
"Some food and drink items are fairly boring on their own, but you can combine them together to make more interesting items. More on that later."
"Some food and drink items are fairly boring on their own, but you can combine them together to make more interesting items. More on that later."
"For now, though, what I need you to do is to go to the Cafeteria, also located in Paradox University, and hunt around until you find a couple of things - a sesame-seed bun and a probably-meat patty."
"For now though, what I need you to do is to go to the Cafeteria, also located in Paradox University, and hunt around until you find a couple of things - a sesame-seed bun and a probably-meat patty."
"Come back and see me when you've got them."
- ''Ha! I already have those! Keep going.''
- ''Ha! I already have those! Keep going.''
"You could eat them as they are, but you'll get better returns from combining them together into something else first."
"You could eat them as they are, but you'll get better returns from combining them together into something else first."
"So, are you ready to find out how?"
"So are you ready to find out how?"
- ''I've never been readier! By which I mean yes.''
- ''I've never been readier! By which I mean yes.''
"Come back and see me again once you've made it. Don't eat it though, I need to see proof!"
"Come back and see me again once you've made it. Don't eat it though, I need to see proof!"
or by not clicking the link and skipping ahead (from the previous screen) to combine the items
"Oh I see! Think you're clever do you? Since you have a probably-meatburger in your backpack already, you obviously don't need me to tell you how to make one. And you probably don't need the five free burgers I was going to give you as a reward either!"
"From now on let's stick to the script, shall we?"
- ''You bastard! I mean, OK.''
Subsequently, this skips the first part of the 6th visit.
"OK, ''username'', we're getting there."
"OK ''username'', we're getting there."
"Now it's time to learn something that's going to be REALLY important, and that's how to fight!"
"Now it's time to learn something that's going to be REALLY important, and that's how to fight!"
"It's obvious that you're normally a very peaceful, friendly person, but there are some nasty elements around here, and learning to fight might just save your life!"
"It's obvious that you're normally a very peaceful, friendly person, but there are some nasty elements around here and learning to fight might just save your life!"
"When you're ready, let's keep going."
"That and you can steal their stuff, which is also a little bit cool."
"When you're ready let's keep going."
- clicking ''I'm ready now, old man.''
- clicking ''I'm ready now, old man.''
"You can still be hurt fighting there, but probably not as badly as you would be if you went out into the big wide world."
"You can still be hurt fighting there, but probably not as badly as you would be if you went out into the big wide world."
"To begin with, since you probably don't have a weapon yet, you'll need to practice some unarmed combat."
"To begin with, since you probably don't yet have a weapon, you'll need to practice some unarmed combat."
"If you DO have a weapon equipped, you'll need to unequip it, and then head on over to the university's Gymnasium to do some fighting."
"If you DO have a weapon equipped, you'll need to unequip it, and then head on over to the University's Gymnasium to do some fighting."
"Each time you win a fight, you'll gain some stat points, and maybe an item or two."
"Each time you win a fight you'll gain some stat points and maybe an item or two."
"Keep fighting until you get a stick and a sheet of foam padding, then bring them back to me."
"Keep fighting until you get a stick and a sheet of foam padding, then bring them back to me."
"Oh, and don't forget to keep an eye on your health! If it starts getting low, go to your house and rest for a turn or two."
"Oh and don't forget to keep an eye on your health! If it starts getting low, you should go to your room and rest for a turn or two, or find an item that can help you."
"OK, you're all set. Here's what you need to do:"
"OK, you're all set. Here's what you need to do:"
"Go back to the Gymnasium, with the padded stick, and fight."
"Go back to the Gymnasium with the padded stick and fight."
"Each time you win a fight, you'll be given a small lapel pin."
"Each time you win a fight, you'll be given a small lapel pin."
'''10th Visit'''
'''10th Visit'''
"Well, I don't know about you, but all that stick-work has tired me out!"
"Well I don't know about you, but all that stick-work has tired me out!"
"But hey, you got the job done, and that's fantastic!"
"But hey, you got the job done, and that's fantastic!"
"You can go fight some more if you like, but there's still more I need to tell you. Come back and see me when you're ready!"
"You can go fight some more if you like, but there's still more I need to tell you. Come back and see me when you're ready!"
- ''Nah, that's fine. Just keep talking.''
- clicking ''Nah, that's fine, just keep talking.''
"Well, we're just about done here. Only a couple more things to tell you."
"Well we're just about done here. There are only a couple more things I need to tell you."
"Before we finish, I'd like to talk to you about a little something called 'Moolah'."
"Before we finish, I'd like to talk to you about a little something called 'Moolah'."
"Moolah is the currency used in Paradox City, and you can exchange Moolah for various goods and services around the city."
"Moolah is the currency used in Paradox City, and you can exchange Moolah for various goods and services around the city."
"You've probably already noticed, but as you adventure, you can sometimes find Moolah lying around, or you can get Moolah from fighting opponents or completing tasks."
"You've probably already noticed, but as you adventure you can sometimes find Moolah lying around, or you can get Moolah from fighting opponents or completing tasks."
"Heck, sometimes people even just GIVE it to you. Like this."
"Heck! Sometimes people even just GIVE it to you. Like this."
[[Image:Moolah.png]] You gain 500 [[Moolah]]!
[[Image:Moolah.png]] You gain 500 [[Moolah]]!
- ''Gotcha! And then...?''
- clicking ''Gotcha! And then....?''
"You can try that now if you like, or just keep going. I promise, we're almost done."
"You can try that now if you like, or just keep going. I promise, we're almost done."
- ''That's cool, keep going.''
- clicking ''That's cool, keep going.''
"And what can you DO with all that lovely, lovely Moolah? Well, spend it of course!"
"And what can you DO with all that lovely, lovely Moolah? Well, spend it of course!"
"Now that you've been through all this, the stores in the Mall in Town should be open to you, and you can go there to buy things like clothes, weapons, food, drink, medicines and plenty of other stuff."
"If you haven't done so already, you should probably check out 'The Moolah Rouge Mall' in town. It's a small mall, but growing, and you can buy a lot of useful stuff there."
"You can even buy stuff that you can use to make other stuff with!"
"You can even buy stuff that you can use to make other stuff with!"
"In fact, I highly recommend you check out the Mall, and the rest of the Town once we're done here."
"If you're looking for something to do after that, I recommend spending some time in Charlie Gardens Memorial Park. It's quite nice there this time of year."
- ''Is there anything else?''
"As a reward for your patience, and to show your dedication, here's a '[[Certificate of Denoobification]]', which will be automatically displayed in your player profile for all to see!"
"As a reward for your patience, and to show your dedication, here's a '[[Certificate of Denoobification]]', which will be automatically displayed in your player profile for all to see!"
I Am So Smrt
"And, well, that's it from me. For now, at least. Good luck ''username''!"
"And, well, that's it from me. For now, at least. Good luck ''username''!"
You have successfully completed all tasks required of you by [[Professor B. Ginner von Noob]].
You have successfully completed all tasks required of you by [[Professor B. Ginner von Noob]].
== Visits After The First [[Reset]] ==
== Visits After The First [[Reset]] ==