Your questing starts at the Noobology Department of the Paradox University.
Under Current Quests: You're currently working through some game basics with Professor B. Ginner von Noob. You should probably head to the Noobology Department at Paradox University in town for more information.
Tasks
Nth Visit
- Adventure in The Cafeteria until you you get a probably-meat patty and a sesame-seed bun
Nth +1 Visit
- Combine the probably-meat patty with the sesame-seed bun to make a probably-meat burger.
Nth +2 Visit
- Adventure in the Gymnasium until you get a stick and a sheet of foam padding.
Nth +3 Visit
- Combine the stick and the sheet of foam padding to make a padded stick.
Nth +4 Visit
- Equip the padded stick
Nth +5 Visit
- Adventure in the Gymnasium until you get 10 stickmastery stickpin.
Nth +6 Visit
Rewards
Text
Nth +1 Visit
"OK, combining stuff together is really easy."
"Take a look in your inventory for something called 'Combine Stuff'."
"Once you're there, you should see a list of the ingredients you have."
"Just select the ingredients you want to combine - in this case the sesame-seed bun and probably-meat patty - and click 'Combine'"
"If you do it right, you should make yourself a tasty probably-meat burger."
"Come back and see me again once you've made it. Don't eat it though, I need to see proof!"
Nth +2 Visit
"Ohhh, very well done!"
"Here, just let me quickly run that burger through my quintuplicator..."
The professor takes the probably-meat burger from you and puts it into an odd-looking contraption sitting on a shelf behind him.
The machine makes some alarming whirring, grinding and clanking noises, then goes "DING!".
The professor removes your original burger, plus 5 identical copies, which he hands back to you.
You acquire: 5 probably-meatburgers
"You can eat those burgers any time you like now, for which you'll receive 4 more turns, 3 of each stat and 2 fullness from each."
"Remember, different food and drink has different effects, which you'll become familiar with over time."
- clicking That's kinda cool. What's next?
"OK, username, we're getting there."
"Now it's time to learn something that's going to be REALLY important, and that's how to fight!"
"It's obvious that you're normally a very peaceful, friendly person, but there are some nasty elements around here, and learning to fight might just save your life!"
"That, and you can steal their stuff, which is also a little bit cool."
"When you're ready, let's keep going."
- clicking I'm ready now, old man.
"Fortunately, Paradox University has a special environment set up for you to practice different kinds of fighting."
"You can still be hurt fighting there, but probably not as badly as you would be if you went out into the big wide world."
"To begin with, since you probably don't have a weapon yet, you'll need to practice some unarmed combat."
"If you DO have a weapon equipped, you'll need to unequip it, and then head on over to the university's Gymnasium to do some fighting."
"Each time you win a fight, you'll gain some stat points, and maybe an item or two."
"Keep fighting until you get a stick and a sheet of foam padding, then bring them back to me."
"Oh, and don't forget to keep an eye on your health! If it starts getting low, go to your house and rest for a turn or two."
Nth +3 Visit
"Ahh yes, you're doing very well!"
"Now that you've had a bit of practice fighting without a weapon, it's time to learn how to fight WITH a weapon."
"That stick you have is a weapon, but it's too dangerous to use in the gym. Go and combine the stick with the sheet of foam rubber, and come back to me with the item you get from doing that."
Nth +4 Visit
"Terrific! Go and equip that padded stick and then come back here."
Nth +5 Visit
"OK, you're all set. Here's what you need to do:"
"Go back to the Gymnasium, with the padded stick, and fight."
"Each time you win a fight, you'll be given a small lapel pin."
"Collect 10 of those (that's right, you need to win 10 fights) and then bring them back to me."
"Good luck!"
Nth +6 Visit
"Well, I don't know about you, but all that stick-work has tired me out!"
"But hey, you got the job done, and that's fantastic!"
"You can go fight some more if you like, but there's still more I need to tell you. Come back and see me when you're ready!"
- clicking Nah, that's fine, just keep talking.
"Well, we're just about done here. Only a couple more things to tell you."
"Before we finish, I'd like to talk to you about a little something called 'Moolah'."
"Moolah is the currency used in Paradox City, and you can exchange Moolah for various goods and services around the city."
"You've probably already noticed, but as you adventure, you can sometimes find Moolah lying around, or you can get Moolah from fighting opponents or completing tasks."
"Heck, sometimes people even just GIVE it to you. Like this."
Moolah You gain 500 Moolah!
- clicking Gotcha! And then....?
"Another way you can get Moolah is by selling the stuff you find. If you don't want it, that is."
"To sell your stuff, go to the 'Sell Stuff' section of your Inventory, select the stuff you want to sell, and click 'Sell'."
"You can try that now if you like, or just keep going. I promise, we're almost done."
- clicking That's cool, keep going.
"There are other ways to get Moolah, including trading with other citizens, but you'll find out more about that later."
"And what can you DO with all that lovely, lovely Moolah? Well, spend it of course!"
"Now that you've been through all this, the stores in the Mall in Town should be open to you, and you can go there to buy things like clothes, weapons, food, drink, medicines and plenty of other stuff."
"You can even buy stuff that you can use to make other stuff with!"
"In fact, I highly recommend you check out the Mall, and the rest of the Town once we're done here."
- clicking I will! Is there anything else?
"By now, you should have a pretty good idea of the basics, so I think we're pretty well done."
"As a reward for your patience, and to show your dedication, here's a 'Certificate of Denoobification', which will be automatically displayed in your player profile for all to see!"
"And, well, that's it from me. For now, at least. Good luck username!"
Visits Afterwards
You have successfully completed all tasks required of you by Professor B Ginner von Noob.