Noobology Department

Description

Welcome, Noob

Dark. No light. Dark.

You reach out and fumble for a light switch... CLICK. Hmmmmm.

As you look around, you realise that you have absolutely no idea where you are. You're lying on a bed in a small and somewhat shabby room. You assume it's your room, although it's not familiar at all. Somewhat disturbingly, it bears a strong resemblance to a college dorm room.

You lean down and look under the bed... ewwwww... definitely a dorm room.

You slowly begin to come to your senses and start to remember. Then you realise that you actually don't remember anything at all.

You think harder... <PLAYERNAME>. Yes, that name is familiar. Right, it's your name. That's a start. What else? No, that's about it.

As you lie there trying to think, you hear voices coming from outside the room, and you move to the door in order to hear them better. Maybe they'll say something that will tell you where you are.

"Dude!" says one voice, "You've got von Noob again? This is, like, the third time!"

"I know man, but it's, like, really hard," says a second voice.

"What's hard about Noobology 101? It's like, the BASICS, dude! You need to lay off the shibbying."

The voices fade out as their owners move away from your door, but you've learned a couple of things. First, one of those two guys is really dumb, and second that you are, in fact, at some kind of University. And the name they mentioned, von Noob, sounds incredibly familiar.

Perhaps you should go find him?

After Resetting

When visiting the Noobology Department after resetting the first time, this message appears:

When a player resets, the message There was a brief disturbance in the space-time continuum. It looks like something happened to [username]. Something... resetty. apears in the chat

After consulting a fairly complicated map, asking 7 different people for directions, and getting yourself lost 3 times, you finally discover a plain looking door with "Department of Cultural Sciences" printed on it.

You notice that the words "Cultural Sciences" have been crossed out and "Noobology" written underneath in purple magic marker. This should be interesting.

You knock politely on the door (manners always were your strong point) and wait. And wait. And wait. You get tired of waiting and open the door.

The room appears to be quite cluttered, and it takes a while for you to notice that part of the clutter is in fact a fairly strange looking, dishevelled old guy, sitting at a desk in amongst an unstable-looking stack of papers and beaming at you. Creepy.

"Ahhhhh, hello there young... person! My name is Professor B. Ginner von Noob. Welcome to the Department of Noobology!"

"Ah! Welcome back, <PLAYERNAME>!" exclaims the Professor, "It's good to see you again!"

"Back? Wait, what..."

"If you remember," he continues, "the last time you were here, I asked you to undertake a series of simple, and somewhat boring, tasks to help you familiarise yourself with... well, with things."

"Ummm, well, I'm not really..."

"Good, good. Well, you should be pretty familiar with everything now, so I don't think there's any need for that. How about I just give you some stuff and send you on your way?"

"..."

"Excellent, here you are then. Good luck!"

Before you have a chance to ask any questions, the Professor has handed you a number of items and bundled you out the door, closing it firmly behind you.

Great. Looks like you're on your own!

• You acquire an item: blue t-shirt.
• You acquire an item: StufStik.
• You acquire 5 probably-meatburgers.
• You acquire 5 Boo-boo B-Gone strips.
• You acquire 2 blobs of replacement snot.
• You gain 500 moolah.

Locations

• Paradox University (Parent)

Characters

• Professor B. Ginner von Noob

Notes

• "shibbying" - To party very hard