Caravan Of Ritchie's

Description

Sitting forlornly in a dense tangle of wild flowers, dented and broken and smelling vaguely of dags, this wheel-less trash heap is anything but a caravan of riches. Still, it's probably worth checking out.

Fortunately, getting inside the caravan requires less effort than opening, say, a tin of beans, because the door's completely missing. It's small and cramped, and smells really... manky. There are mounds of garbage piled everywhere; on the floor... on the bed... on the table... on the ch... wait! The pile of junk at the table is, in fact, a dishevelled-looking man, who's sitting there staring at you. He looks like a pikey... be careful.

"Wargenyeligginah!?" he demands. You stare at him for a second, trying to translate... "Ahsid wargenyeligginah!? Denyennerstanenglish?"

"Um..." you attempt, "Fine, thanks?"

"Bah! Neahvamintha! Areyaheretobuymecaravan? I'llgiveyaagooddeal."

It seems this strangely-accented fellow wants to sell you his caravan. You politely point out that you have no use for a caravan, let alone one without wheels.

"Ah, y'areacleverun aren'ya? Strong, too! Arey'aboxer? Yalooglikeaboxer! Itellyawhhat, I'llfightyaf'rit! Ifyawin, I'llgiveyethecaravanf'nothin! Deal?"

Hmmm, if you understood correctly, the man wants to challenge you to a fight you don't feel like in return for something you don't actually need. It doesn't seem worth it really, but it's up to you.

Location(s)

• Junkyard

Choices

Accept The Challenge

You don't really want the caravan, but frankly this guy deserves a beating purely for his unintelligibility. Assuming, of course, that unintelligibility is a real word. Regardless, you accept the challenge, put up your dukes and start swinging wildly.

The pikey easily dodges your blows, and mostly just laughs at you while you wear yourself out. After several minutes, he tells you to stop before he dies from laughter, and offers you the caravan anyway, just for giving him some good entertainment.

Well, that's just great, but how exactly are you going to move it? You strain and sweat for a while, before giving up in disgust. At least you gave your muscles a good workout.

Rewards:

• You gain some subpoints: 15-25 Brawn

Decline The Challenge

As interesting as the offer is, you reiterate that you really don't need a caravan right now, shake the strange man's hand, and leave. It's the smart thing to do really - you can't trust a pikey.

Rewards:

• You gain some subpoints!: 15-25 Brains

Ignore The Challenge

Is this guy serious? Apparently so, but you decide it's not worth your time and walk away. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

References

This adventure is a reference to Guy Ritchie's movie 'Snatch.' In that movie there is a scene where a foreign-accented fast-talking Brad Pitt tries to convince a confused Jason Statham into buying a camper for fighting him. Or something like that. I didn't really understand the movie myself. But it's still a good movie. I suggest you go ahead and watch it anyway.