Maurice miner

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Description

This particular miner's name may or may not in fact be "Maurice." I mean some people call him the space cowboy and others call him the gangster of love. Either way he's afflicted with a nasty speech impediment, so all anyone can figure out is that his name starts with "Muh...Muh...Muh..." and then they lose interest. Honestly, does it matter? Maurice is as good a name as any.

Opponent Level Information

Opponent Level:

Power Level:

Attack Rating:

Defence Rating:

Scaling

• Does this opponent scale to you? No
• Subpoints Gain: Does this scale with player stats? No
• Opponent Level: Does this scale with player stats? No
• HP: Does this scale with player stats? No
• Elemental Damage Reduction: Y/N? If So What Kind
• Elemental Weakness: Y/N? If So What Kind
• Physical Resistance: Y/N?

Combat Messages

Initiative Message(s):

• While you wait for him to finish a sentence about how he's going to buh...buh...buh...hit you a lot, you get the jump.
• Wisely deciding to forego his customary 3-minute battle cry, Maurice (or whatever his nuh...nuh...name is) attacks!

Successful Attack(s):

• He hops on a conveniently located ride-on lawnmower, and drives toward you. Slowly. You point and laugh, saying "Oh no, it's Muh...Muh...Maurice! He muh...muh...means to muh...muh...mow me over!" You realise too late that your feet are stuh...stuh...stuck in some cement. The X DAMAGE you receive is your just reward for making fun of the huh...huh...handicapped. You heartless buh...buh...bastard!!
• Your opponent says he's going to suh...suh...smash you straight in your suh...suh...silly smiling fuh...fuh...face and suh...suh...smack seven shuh...shuh...shades of shih...shih... Turns out he doesn't need to, since he's just sprayed you with enough spittle to just about drown you. You take X DAMAGE!
• Rather than hitting you, your opponent tries telling you a story. You suffer X DAMAGE out of pure boredom before he's got as far as "Once upon a time."

Failed Attack(s):

• Your opponent enters your personal space and begins to stutter sweet words of epismetology in your ear and speak to you of the pompatus of love. Fortunately you can't understand a single word he utters in his pizmotality so you escape unscathed.
• He tries to put you duh...duh...down, but he's having a little trouble guh...guh...getting around.

Location(s)

• Mine Camp F

Rewards

• miner's helmet
• You gain 56-84 moolah

Stats:

• You gain XX brawn
• You gain XX brains
• You gain XX bravado

References

• The part of the description that says "he's afflicted with a nasty speech impediment, so all anyone can figure out is that his name starts with "Muh...Muh...Muh..." and then they lose interest." is a reference to Morris Minor and the Majors and their song "The Stutter Rap".
• The name of the encounter may also be a reference to the Morris Minor, a car.
• Quoted from Urban Dictionary: "Pizmotality" means words so secret they can only be revealed to a lover. The Steve Miller song, "Enter Maurice", used the words "sweet words of epismetology", which was probably a misheard version of the word. Miller also borrowed another misheard Vernon Green word in the same song, "puppetutes", which he misheard as "pompatus".
• The image for this opponent also appears to be that of Mel Tillis, a famous country and western singer who suffers from a stuttering speech impediment.