Ubiquitous wood-gatherer

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Description

Got wood? This guy does... and not the kind you're probably thinking of. People like him seem to exist wherever there are trees and their only purpose is to be innocent bystanders. Apparently this particular one forgot about the "innocent bystander" part.

Opponent Level Information

Opponent Level:

Power Level:

Attack Rating:

Defence Rating:

Scaling

• Does this opponent scale to you? No
• Subpoints Gain: Does this scale with player stats? No
• Opponent Level: Does this scale with player stats? No
• HP: Does this scale with player stats? No
• Elemental Damage Reduction:No
• Elemental Weakness: Y/N? If so what kind
• Physical Resistance: Y/N?

Combat Messages

Initiative message(s):

• While he busily inspects another random piece of wood and ponders the likeliness of it being worth the effort you get the jump on him.

Hit message(s):

• He grabs a handful of leaves and throws them in your face, then smacks you hard in the knee with a log for X DAMAGE. BLAMMO! You're living proof that everyone does not, in fact, love log.
• He uses a nearby bramble, first to trip, then to strangle you for X DAMAGE. Oh painful poetry!
• He grabs a nearby dead branch and pokes you right in the eye for X DAMAGE. OW!

Miss message(s):

• He is momentarily distracted by a particularly desirable piece of wood, which he feels has a certain "quality of woodness" about it. He completely fails to attack you.
• He attempts to gather your wood, but you tell him you're not that kind of person.
• He attempts to grab a nearby dead branch to hit you with. It's a huge piece of lumber, Jack, but fortunately for you it's still attached to a tree.

Location(s)

• The Long Wood

Rewards

Items:

• You acquire an item: rough gloves ( ?% )
• You acquire an item: makeshift belt ( ?% )
• You acquire an item: spare eye ( ?% )

Stats:

• You gain 8-16 brawn subpoints
• You gain 8-16 brains subpoints
• You gain 8-16 bravado subpoints

References

• "Got wood?" is reference to "Got Milk?". It is quite probable that it is also a joke playing on American slang where "wood" means an erection.
• The "Pokes you in the eye..." and Spare Eye items are probably a reference to the old saying "It's all fun and games until someone looses an eye."
• "You're living proof that everyone does not, in fact, love log.", is likely a reference to Ren and Stimpy's "Log Song".
• And of course the "piece of Lumber, Jack" is an obvious reference to Lumberjacks.