Legion

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Description

A sturdy, brushed-steel door stands before you impassively, as steel doors tend to do. This time, however, you have what you need to get past.

You place your keycards in the slots, then you take your keycards out. You place your keycards in the slots, and you wiggle them about. The door slides away with an ominous rumble, and you quickly do the Hokey Pokey before walking through the opening.

The hideous racket you've been hearing suddenly stops, as you find yourself face to face with.. well, with a rather chubby, bespectacled kid, who is only wearing a loincloth which moves eerily as if the wind was tugging at it.

In one hand he holds what for all the world looks like a golden egg-beater, and on his back he sports a pair of ridiculous, stubby, laboriously fluttering and seriously pathetic wings. What the heck? If he wasn't so ugly, one might be inclined to describe him as "cherubic".

"I am Legion," he says.

"You mean you are many?"

"No, I'm Legion. My parents wanted to be creative, and you know I just don't think they liked me very much, but that's another story."

Before you can even begin to express your heartfelt compassion for this poor creature, or your sudden understanding of its pissed-off expression, he continues:

"You shall not pass! Your mere presence causes me pain. I can see how badly you are going to have tangled the time-lines and that is why... yes, I think I shall eat you now. In fact I shall even eat you earlier. And come to think of it, later too. I'll erase you from time, so you'll never have been."

"Bean what?"

"You'll never have been and that's it!"

"Fine, I don't like beans all that much. I think I can do without them."

Opponent Level Information

Opponent Level:

Power Level:

Attack Rating:

Defence Rating:

Scaling

Does this opponent scale to you? No
Subpoints Gain: Does this scale with player stats? No
Opponent Level: Does this scale with player stats? No
HP: Does this scale with player stats? No
Elemental Damage Reduction: Hot damage
Elemental Weakness: Y/N? If So What Kind
Physical Resistance: Yes, Hot damage

Combat Messages

Initiative Message:

As he is obviously baffled by such blatant stupidity, you get the jump on him.

Successful Attacks:

Your old wounds suddenly hurt you for X DAMAGE! Which old wounds, you ask? The ones he just gave you a week ago, obviously.
Okay, maybe you'll never have bean again, but he just seems to have had a metric ton of them. The smell burns through your nostrils for X DAMAGE! At least his loincloth flapped in the torrent in a humourous way.
He rolls himself up into a ball (which isn't hard, seeing as he was already of the spherical persuasion to begin with) and rolls over you for X DAMAGE! Bangarang, Peter!
He distracts you with his golden eggbeater (Oh, look! Shiny!) and then kicks you in the face for 10 DAMAGE! Ow, dammit!

Missed Attacks:

He spins his eggbeater incredibly fast and ends up mesmerizing himself. Incidentally, have you noticed that particularly intriguing spot on the wall over there?
Okay, maybe you'll never have bean again, but he just seems to have had a metric ton of them. He passes out due to excessive gas build-up around him.
He gives his eggbeater an enquiring look and then mutters something about being late for his appointment with the red queen.
He flickers like a malfunctioning lightbulb, but nothing particularly interesting or painful ensues.

Location

Ultraspatiotemporalanomalistics Lab

Rewards

You acquire an item: golden eggbeater
You acquire an item: strap-on wings
You acquire an item: identity card

Stats:

You gain 12 brawn subpoints.
You gain 6 brains subpoints.
You gain 6 bravado subpoints.

Notes

A one time adventure.
Legion appears to be strong against Hot damage.
Upon defeating legion while under reset restrictions, you receive the message:

-- You have defeated your opponent! --
Your Quest Log has been updated.
Even better, all reset-related item and moolah restrictions have been lifted. We'll explain later.

References

"Bangarang, Peter" is the battle cry of the Lost Boys in the Peter Pan movie, Hook. This particular attack message is a reference to one of the lost boys rolling and knocking his opponents down.
"You shall not pass!" is a quote from the Lord of the Rings film, said by the character, Gandalf.
The usage of the phrase 'wibbly wobbly' to define the time portal could be a reference to Doctor Who, who humorously describes time as 'wibbly wobbly, timey wimey'.
The "You are many?" reference alludes to the Bible, when Jesus asked a Demon for his name and he responded "My name is Legion: for we are many." This is now commonly used as a phrase to describe the Anonymous[1] identity.