Grinding Axes

Description

Despite all attempts by the LAK (Lumberjacks' Association of Kimbawala) to prevent this film from being shown, you kick back in your seat to see what may become the biggest quasi-Asian blockbuster hit since "Good Morning, Non-Descript-Oriental-Types". Apparently, an alarming number of Kimbawalan lumberjacks are putting down their axes and becoming strippers. This peculiar occurrence is covered in astonishing detail by one of the biggest names (and biggest bodies) in the documentary genre, Gabriel Moost, who is known for his hard-hitting style and and even harder-hitting belly-flop.

Ever since man started building things, he has needed wood. That's where the lumberjacks come in. Their rugged exterior has become a thing of legend, and now, so shall their soft, chewy caramel center. As you watch the story of sexually repressed men huddled into tiny shacks, chopping wood for a living, you start to understand why they might want to take off their clothes in a roomful of women. As the final credits roll and you make your way out of the cinema, you can't help but feel sorry for those poor, poor lumberjacks.

Rewards

• You acquire an item: choc-top ice cream cone (6%)
• You acquire an item: Dixon Choc-Orange Balls (TM) (9.8%)
• You acquire an item: Dixon Prunets (TM) (8.4%)
• You acquire an item: cinema popcorn (10.4%)
• You acquire an item: Dixon NutZ! (TM) (7.4%)

Stats:

• You gain 14-30 brains subpoints.

References

• "Good Morning, Non-Descript-Oriental-Types" is a reference to 1987 Robin Williams film Good Morning, Vietnam.