Legion

Quest Description

Far away from the main part of the University is a large, grey, windowless building. A small nameplate identifies it as the Department of Questionable Sciences.

You wonder just what "Questionable Sciences" might be, but it doesn't look like you're going to find out in a hurry, as there's a small sign taped to the door reading "Back in 5 Minutes".

You decide that you're bored waiting, and bang on the door as hard as you can.

The door opens a crack, and an irritable voice says, "You again? Seriously, don't you have anything better to do than... wait a second... what's your name?"

"Um, <PLAYERNAME>. Why?" you reply, hesitantly.

"Holy cr.... Oh man, I mean.. wow, we've been looking for you! Come in, quick."

The door is flung open by a guy in a lab coat, who ushers you quickly inside and closes the door behind you. You find yourself in a large room, with doors opening off in various directions. The doors have signs on them, indicating that they're laboratories for different branches of unpronouncable, and probably questionable, science.

Suddenly, you hear a muffled, but nonetheless loud and somewhat unearthly bellowing, coming from behind one of the doors. You can't make out the words, but you think you can vaguely hear your name, which is unsettling, to say the least.

"What the heck is THAT?" you ask.

"Well," replies the lab-coat guy, "we were conducting some.. rather unusual experiments, you see, and, well, I can't go into too much detail, but it appears we opened some kind of portal. At least, we're pretty sure it was a portal - it was all kind of glowy, and sort of wibbly wobbly and stuff."

"Anyway," he continues, "the point is that something.. or rather, someone.. came through the portal. From what we can gather, his name is Legion, and he seems to be looking for you!"

"Ever since he arrived, he's been making that racket, and generally tearing up the place. We managed to get him contained in one of the labs, but the noise is still driving us mad. Look, if you could just go and find out what he wants, perhaps he'll go away again? Or at least stop making all that noise."

After pressing continue the following laboratories open up to adventure in:

• Astrophysiologymnometrics Lab
• Exointrinsicbiotechnomystifics Lab
• Geospatiodynamostatics Lab
• Trigonopolymonomathopathology Lab
• Ultraspatiotemporalanomalistics Lab

Adventure in the Ultraspatiotemporalanomalistics Lab until you get the Holding Cell Entrance adventure. This will tell you that you need to find four cards to gain access to fight Legion. These cards can be found in the Astrophysiologymnometrics Lab , Exointrinsicbiotechnomystifics Lab , Geospatiodynamostatics Lab and Ultraspatiotemporalanomalistics Lab.

After gathering the four cards you must go back to the Holding Cell Entrance and fight Legion.

Description

A sturdy, brushed-steel door stands before you impassively, as steel doors tend to do. This time, however, you have what you need to get past.

You place your keycards in the slots, then you take your keycards out. You place your keycards in the slots, and you wiggle them about. The door slides away with an ominous rumble, and you quickly do the Hokey Pokey before walking through the opening.

The hideous racket you've been hearing suddenly stops, as you find yourself face to face with.. well, with a rather chubby, bespectacled kid, who is only wearing a loincloth which moves eerily as if the wind was tugging at it.

In one hand he holds what for all the world looks like a golden egg-beater, and on his back he sports a pair of ridiculous, stubby, labouriously fluttering and seriously pathetic wings. What the heck? If he wasn't so ugly, one might be inclined to describe him as "cherubic".

"I am Legion," he says.

"You mean you are many?"

"No, I'm Legion. My parents wanted to be creative, and you know I just don't think they liked me very much, but that's another story."

Before you can even begin to express your heartfelt compassion for this poor creature, or your sudden understanding of its pissed-off expression, he continues:

"You shall not pass! Your mere presence causes me pain. I can see how badly you are going to have tangled the time-lines and that is why... yes, I think I shall eat you now. In fact I shall even eat you earlier. And come to think of it, later too. I'll erase you from time, so you'll never have been."

"Bean what?"

"You'll never have been and that's it!"

"Fine, I don't like beans all that much. I think I can do without them."

Combat Messages

Initiative Message:

• As he is obviously baffled by such blatant stupidity, you get the jump on him.

Successful Attacks:

• Your old wounds suddenly hurt you for X DAMAGE! Which old wounds, you ask? The ones he just gave you a week ago, obviously.
• Okay, maybe you'll never have bean again, but he just seems to have had a metric ton of them. The smell burns through your nostrils for X DAMAGE! At least his loincloth flapped in the torrent in a humourous way.
• He rolls himself up into a ball (which isn't hard, seeing as he was already of the spherical persuasion to begin with) and rolls over you for X DAMAGE! Bangarang, Peter!
• He distracts you with his golden eggbeater (Oh, look! Shiny!) and then kicks you in the face for 10 DAMAGE! Ow, dammit!

Missed Attacks:

• He spins his eggbeater incredibly fast and ends up mesmerizing himself. Incidentally, have you noticed that particularly intriguing spot on the wall over there?
• Okay, maybe you'll never have bean again, but he just seems to have had a metric ton of them. He passes out due to excessive gas build-up around him.
• He gives his eggbeater an enquiring look and then mutters something about being late for his appointment with the red queen.
• He flickers like a malfunctioning lightbulb, but nothing particularly interesting or painful ensues.

Rewards

• You acquire an item: golden eggbeater
• You acquire an item: strap-on wings
• You acquire an item: identity card

Stats:

• You gain 12 brawn.
• You gain 6 brains.
• You gain 6 bravado.

References

• The usage of the phrase 'wibbly wobbly' to define the time portal could be a reference to Doctor Who, who humourously describes time as 'wibbly wobbly, timey wimey'.
• The "You are many?" reference alludes to the Bible, when Jesus asked a Demon for his name and he responded "My name is Legion: for we are many." This is now commonly used as an phrase to describe the Anonymous[1] identity.