My Name Is Still Gun

Description

This is the story of a girl who cried a river and...the screen suddenly goes black, and the guy in the projection booth apologizes for the technical difficulties and assures you that those responsible have been sacked.

Then the real film starts, and there's no crying in it AT ALL. But there are guns. So many guns. 400 guns! Seriously, there's so much shooting that you don't even notice if there's a plot.

You sit through nearly two hours of testosterone-laden bad-guy destruction, all the while having your eyes and ears assaulted by gratuitous amounts of bangs, flashes and explosions, which finally culminate in one gigantic bangy, flashy explosion that kills pretty much everyone but the hero.

It may take some time for your teeth to stop vibrating.

Despite the conspicuous lack of plot, you still walk out of the cinema feeling like you could totally take on at least 20 3rd-graders.

Rewards

• You acquire an item: choc-top ice cream cone (X%)
• You acquire an item: Dixon Choc-Orange Balls (TM) (X%)
• You acquire an item: Dixon Prunets (TM) (X%)
• You acquire an item: cinema popcorn (X%)

Stats:

• You gain 15-30 brawn subpoints.

References

• There is a reference to the lyrics "This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world." of the song Absolutely by Nine Days.
• The line "those responsible have been sacked" is a reference to the opening to Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
• "So many guns. 400 guns!" is a reference to a line from Powerthirst, a Youtube parody of energy drink ads by comedy group Picnicface.