Wannabe midgets

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Description

These guys were so desperate to get into the carnival sideshow that they started taking experimental pills to make them shorter.

Unfortunately for them, the only thing the pills made short was their collective temper.

It turns out that's unfortunate for you, too.

Opponent Level Information

Opponent Level:

Power Level:

Attack Rating:

Defence Rating:

Scaling

• Does this opponent scale to you? No
• Subpoints Gain: Does this scale with player stats? No
• Opponent Level: Does this scale with player stats? No
• HP: Does this scale with player stats? No
• Elemental Damage Reduction: Y/N? If So What Kind
• Elemental Weakness: Y/N? If So What Kind
• Physical Resistance: Y/N?

Combat Messages

Jump Message(s):

• While they're busy arguing over which of them looks most like Willow, you get the jump on them
• While you go into a lengthy narrative about why drugs are bad mmmmmkay they get the jump on you.

Successful Attack(s):

• They realise that they are too tall to bite you on the ankle so they poke you in the eye instead for X DAMAGE!
• They tell you what they want, and what they really really want is to hurt you for X DAMAGE!
• They coerce you into a very politically incorrect round of midget tossing, but because they're not real midgets you strain your back X DAMAGE damage trying to pick them up!

Missed Attack(s):

• They try to sit on each other's shoulders to make them tall enough to slap you in the face. Which would be fine if they were real midgets, but they're not and their collective height causes them to overbalance.
• They're distracted by the fairest lady in the land and waste their time talking about whether or not they should ask her to live with them.
• They start an argument with each other over who's the shortest and completely forget to attack you.

Location(s)

• Second-hand Sideshow

Rewards

• You acquire an item: short pills ( 17% )
• You acquire an item: small handful of cabbage ( 13% )
• You gain 42-84 moolah

Stats:

• You gain 2-4 brawn
• You gain 2-4 brains,
• You gain 4-8 bravado

References

• "Willow" refers to Ron Howards, classic 1988 movie, Willow whose hero, "Willow" was a little person.
• The miss message "They tell you what they want, and what they really really want...." is a reference to the 1996 Spice Girls song 'Wannabe'
• The miss message about the "fairest lady in the land" is a quote from the fairy tale of Snow White
• "...drugs are bad mmmmmkay..." is a quote from the school councillor, Mr mackey, from the American TV series South Park
• Midget tossing successful attack is a reference to the sport. [1]