Really bad joke

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This is a small piece of what looks like ticker-tape, with poorly-printed text on it - most likely a very, very bad joke. Now you know what happens to the leftovers when the monkeys are done writing Shakespeare.

Type: combat item
Autosell value: 120

Cannot be discarded
Can be autosold
Can be traded
Can be stored

Plural: Really bad jokes

Obtained From

When Used

Successful Attacks:

  • You take out a really bad joke, clear your throat and start reading... <Joke Question> you ask your opponent. He stares at you blankly. <Joke Answer> He continues to stare at you for a few seconds before the incredible lameness of the joke hits him like a truck-full of really heavy bricks. Your opponent has just suffered 21-39 GROAN DAMAGE. The bad joke fails to survive the attack and disintegrates in your hands.

Joke Question Joke Answer
Why did the thief shower before robbing the bank? He wanted to make a clean getaway!
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
What do porcupines say when they kiss? OUCH!
What is so fragile that even saying its name can break it? Silence!
What is black and white and noisy? A zebra with a drum kit!
What do you get when you cross a computer and a dog? A mega-bite!
Why didn't the sheepdog pass his driving test? Because he couldn't make a ewe turn!
What do you take before every meal? A seat!
Why do bagpipers walk when they play? To get away from the noise!
What kind of cheese is made backwards? Edam!
What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack!
Why do you go to bed? Because it won't come to you!
Why are dogs like phones? They got collar IDs!
Who earns a living driving their customers away? Taxi drivers!
Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31 !
How do monkeys make toast? Stick some bread under a gorilla!
Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea? One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint. All the sailors ended up being marooned!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with!
What kind of dog always blame others? A pointer!
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, hanging on the wall? Art!
Where are the Andes? On the end of the Armies!
What goes grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!
What building has the most stories? A library!
What's the difference between a cat and a frog? A cat has nine lives, while a frog croaks every night!
Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot!
Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate!
Why did the possum cross the road? To see his flatmates!
What would you get if all the cars in the country were red? A red carnation!
Why couldn't the little girl go to see the pirate movie? It was rated Arrrrr!
What bird is at every meal? A swallow!
What kind of animal does not play fair? A cheetah!
Who invented fractions? Henry the 1/8th!
Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because roads weren't invented yet!
Why is a duck? Because one of its legs is both the same and its head knocks together when it walks.
What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk!
What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
What's green and stands in the corner? A naughty frog!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel!
What is the longest word in the dictionary? 'smiles' - because there's a mile between each s!
What kind of dog always knows what time is it? A watch dog!
What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve? Auld Fang Syne!
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk!
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools!
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway!
What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Doyouthinkhesaurus!
What goes up a chimney down but won't go down chimney up? An umbrella!
What city has no people? Electricity
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk
What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs!
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing. It just let out a little wine!
What's brown and sits on a piano? Beethoven's last movement!


  • Can only generate three jokes per day.
  • Using 100 of these in combat is required to get the Knock Knock Award.


This may be referring to the quote: "If you have enough monkeys banging randomly on typewriters, they will eventually type the works of William Shakespeare". Which of course, the monkeys will have to type a lot of nonsense to get there (which are the leftovers).

the joke"Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?" is a referring to Mathematical Octals and decimals, in which 31 octal (OCT) is equal to 25 Decimal (DEC)


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