Stumbling bum

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Description

Sitting at the side of the road, holding a cardboard sign asking for moolah, is one of the most dodgy-looking beggars you've ever seen, and that's saying something. He doesn't appear to have had a change of clothes in years, and the ones he's wearing look as though they're being held together by his own congealed bodily fluids. He's muttering to himself, but you can't really make out what he's saying, other than to know it involves sailors, porcupines and duct tape. That's probably more than you need to know, strictly speaking.

As you try to pass him by, he grabs you and asks you for some spare moolah to buy, "a bus ticket to visit his sick mother in Farg." Yeah, right.

Combat Messages

Jump Message

• You feel sorry for the guy, but, well, you don't really carry "spare" moolah, only moolah for which you actually have plans, none of which involve donations to charity right now, thanks very much and... You know, rather than trying to explain this to him, you decide it's probably easier just to beat him up. You get the jump.

Successful Attack:

• Reaching into his filthy pocket, he slurrily tells you that he has something in there that can hurt you. You doubt it, but it turns out he's right; it's his fist. He punches you in the mouth for X DAMAGE!

Missed Attack:

• He begins to attack, but is distracted by some guy with a camera, a sandwich and a spiel about something called "the inner-nets."
• Your opponent attempts to demonstrate something called "the quart of blood technique" on you, but he's not fooling anybody.
• Your opponent holds up a finger and gestures for you to wait while he takes an important cell-phone call from his stockbroker. Wait, what?
• He tries to slug you with a roll of moolah in a sock, but suddenly realises he doesn't have any moolah, and that hitting you with an empty sock is just plain silly.

Location(s)

• Downtown

Rewards

• You gain 1 eau d'hobo XX%
• You gain 1 gloveless fingers XX%
• You gain ?Brains subpoints
• You gain ?2?Brawn subpoints
• You gain ?1-2? Bravado subpoints